Acquired Wisdom

4 Cultural Norms: Just Roll With It

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People often seem surprised when I mention going through Jamaican culture shock.  While many things about Jamaica are similar to the USA, others require one to make adjustments.

For instance, I have recently noticed that Jamaicans, in general, seem to have a totally different idea of “personal space” than American’s do.

Whether I’m talking to someone on the side of the road or my own verandah, people tend to get really close to me. Like, right up in my face sort of close. It’s also an “I can usually tell what they just ate” sort of close. Reaching out and touching me or each other is a common part of conversation.

If you have any phobias about touching other people or being touched, then, for heaven’s sake, don’t EVER get into a taxi in Jamaica!

This is where any idea of personal space goes right out the window. I’ve actually found myself in such close contact with my seat-mates that the skin of our bare legs was stuck together.

I’ve gotten out with the side of my skirt wet from someone else’s sweat! It’s bound to happen when you pack 7 or 8 (or more) bodies into a five-person car. Sitting halfway on someone’s lap isn’t out of the question either, so be mentally prepared.

Among the more intriguing cultural norms I’ve observed is the terms of respect by which people will call out to someone they don’t know.

I have been told that when you to ask a middle-aged woman on the side of the road for directions, you would refer to her as “Auntie” or possibly even “Mommy.” A man would, of course, be “Uncle.” An older man might be called “Chief,” “Boss” or some other name that reflects the wisdom of age.

Angus and Valerie Jamaican at HeartPeople of the same age will usually be referred to as “Sistren” or “Bredda.” Of course, the men will use “Princess,” “Sexy,” “Sweetness,” or whatever comes to mind if a pretty lady is passing by. If the person has dreaded hair, it’s common to call them “Rasta.”

I think the cutest example of these terms of address comes from a homeless man who lives nearby. My friend has known him since he was a child. He refers to her as “Miss Auntie Julie.” Now that I’m living here in her old home, I’m “Miss Auntie Valerie.” Every time he says it, I have to smile. He is doing his best to be polite to me.

To keep from losing your sanity, I’d highly suggest that you set your watches to “Jamaican time.”

What does this mean? Well, one way to handle it is to set your watch back at least an hour from the actual time. Jamaican culture, like many in warm climates, people are not known for their punctuality. In fact, they are generally “late” for everything. Meals, visits, appointments…it matters not.  It’s almost like they have no internal clock.

My personal solution is to leave my watch at home. I have come to the realization that wearing it only causes me anxiety. Having been raised in a military home where punctuality was stressed, knowing people are late makes me nuts. My father would never survive here!

While there, I’ve succumbed to never knowing what time it is beyond, daytime and nighttime. Although I think it causes my return to the USA to be even more of a culture shock, going watch-less certainly has served me well while in Jamaica. It forces me to slow down and enjoy my life more.

God forbid that a Jamaican tells you “Soon come.”

You may as well take out the knitting or a good book because you are bound to have a long wait ahead.  Soon come sounds like “I’ll be there soon.” It really means, “I’ll be there some time…in an hour, a few hours or even tomorrow.” I’ve made the mistake on a number of occasions of sitting by the door after hearing such a statement only to find myself still waiting hours later.
You will find no clocks hanging on the walls in my house. I don’t set alarms beyond getting up on the day I have to leave. Although I DO still occasionally fall for the idea of someone actually coming soon, I rarely feel my anxiety rising when they don’t.

I just adopt the old adage, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” So now I’m a sweaty, touchy Auntie who will look you right in the eye without remorse when I finally arrive an hour late!

Admittedly, living among people who don’t care about time drove me insane initially but I’ve learned to roll with it. I’d even have to suggest that you should not invite me over and expect me at a particular time. I’ve gone over to the the dark side of the clock.

I’ve also gotten a lot better about the lack of personal space. In fact, I’ve been fighting fire with fire. When my Jamaican friends reach out to give me the traditional fist bump, I grab them and hug them instead.

On those long, hot taxi rides I no longer sit and worry about what flesh eating bacteria I may be absorbing from a stranger’s bodily fluids either! Ha ha. I mean, they are getting just as much sweat from me as I am from them! Who am I to complain?

Recently I’ve even begun asking strangers for directions by calling out to the “Auntie” on the side of the road, too. One caveat there, however, is that Jamaican’s don’t really give good directions. Nor do they seem to know how to get someplace two towns away. But that’s a story for another day…

What cultural differences have you noticed when traveling in Jamaica or other places? I’d love to hear about it in the comments. To read about more interesting differences, please check out this previous post, Jamaican Me Crazy.

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2 Comments

  • Clover Batts

    I lived in the US for over 10 years and just never got accustomed to being addressed by my first name by youngsters decades younger than me. I prefer the Jamaican way where we show obvious respect to folks older than ourselves simply by the way we address them.

    It is sure interesting to see the cultural changes that you are undergoing. Blessings and may your sojourn on the island remain positive.

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